Big Lobster

In an effort to relieve the numbing ennui brought on by the advanced exercises in life-force inertia currently underway here at the feedlot, I obtained a number of 'classic' science fiction movies. One stood out in particular: Teenagers From Outer Space. My virus ravaged brain made synaptic connections between the sad circumstances from which a mixed-up teenager from space seeks refuge on Earth, and the Dutch way of life. On Mars, it seems kids are produced in test tubes and the government euthanizes the sick and elderly.

The worst part of the movie, in terms of its recurrences during my long periods of fitful sleep, was the reason these space invaders came to Earth in the first place. They wanted to raise their livestock here, to use the Earth as a giant feedlot to fatten up their hideous man-eating Gargons. They even brought one with them to see if it will thrive on Earth.

When the spacemen first get their Gargon out of their space ship, it looks suspiciously like an ordinary lobster. They tie the Gargon up in a cave to wait for the space fleet to deliver the rest of the herd, but things get out of hand once the teen-age spaceman gets a load of the fun Earth teens are having. After all, it was the late 50's, the very best time to be a teen-ager in the history of our planet.

Not to spoil the movie for you, but the Gargon eats a few humans, grows apace and escapes from the cave. You can see the giant clawed beast threatening Earth in the stills above. Ultimately, the space teen has to kill it with his ray gun. In my diseased mind, I could see the creature turn a bright pink after it gets death-rayed. I did not buy the 'colorized' version, so this was an imaginary effect attributable to my fever. Stick a fork in him, space teen, he's done!

The whole business becomes more confused after I fell asleep on the cold floor and began to dream of the Gargon and the ever so narrowly avoided fate of the Earth. In the dream, the monster became identified with a particular lobster I had seen earlier. Somehow Arabella, of Trattoria Breve, is saving the Earth by scalding the Gargon to death and eating it. This is more frightening than the real movie by many degrees of magnitude.

Talk about waking up in a cold sweat! I know I shouldn't blog when I am feverish, nor sleep on the floor after eating but I wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year! May there be many hot buttered Gargons for all of us as wants 'em in the coming year. The Earth will be safe!