European Ban-it-all nonsense spreads to Russia

Picture the poor little girl, startled and crying after seeing cartoon skeletons on her yogurt carton. Her mother, having heard about walking skeletons from her parents experience of the Stalin era, goes right to her tort lawyer. As Russia looks toward the West, the long opressed see the shining European example. A world where no person need endure anything that makes them feel uneasy. Epecially not free speech or expression. If a thing offend thee, get the courts to ban it.

Sue the insensitive bastards! "The woman says that says that the skeletons featured in ads make her daughter cringe and cry. She seeks the court to ban the sales of the products and also their advertisement on television. Experts of the Russian Psychology Institute supported the plaintiff and said that little children should not watch skeletons as this 'does not contribute to a positive outlook and can form either unhealthy or cynical attitude towards death.' "

MosNews from Moskovsky Komsomolets

Danone, the offending French yogurt propagators, have had no comment so far.