State of the Union Blinkers

Dick Cheney and Nancy Pelosi

The first blog I checked to read about President Bush's State of the Union Address was Michelle Malkin's; she doesn't drool like Pavlov's dog at anything a Republican says. Indeed, the title of her post is The State of the Grab Bag Address 2008. I'm guessing Michelle thought up the title before she watched the speech.

Here is what she concluded from liveblogging the address:

Nancy Pelosi final blink count: 1,002.
Dick Cheney final blink count: 2.

Well, everyone knows that Nancy Pelosi has had so many face lifts that she must blink her eyes more than most folks. Nancy's face is so tight her ears meet at the back of her head like the hip pockets of a former fat man's taken-in trousers. If she doesn't blink often enough, her eyes would dry out.

Dick Cheney actually blinks only a bit more slowly than other men his age. Its only by comparison to Nancy that his "blink count" seems too low. In actuality, Vice President Cheney's blink rate is regulated by an implanted blink-maker, like his heart pace-maker regulates his pulse.

Now I see that numerous bloggers are puzzled or fascinated by the Republican blink gap. Everything has an explanation; if you can't find one, just ask the old feeder.