February 02, 2005
It could have been your town. Badly beaten birds were found stuffed into bags, drugged, covered with feathers and smeared with their own feces. The words "KFC" and "chicken dinner" were emblazoned on the bags. The birds were badly burned, their skin almost crispy in places. This shocking birdist outrage would have gone unnoticed in the heartless carnivore that is America, but for The Reverend Al Sharpton. He says the shocking bird abuse is a capitalist plot to bloody the hands of unwitting negroes and he wants it to stop. When asked if he thought this might be another hoax, like Tawana Brawley's bagging and tagging, he said, "No way, man! These chickens can't talk."