March 12, 2005

I thought the left coast liked "Assisted Suicides"

Looking for a laugh on an otherwise slow Saturday at the Feedlot, I naturally turned to the Associated Press. These cats at the AP are always right on top of news that isn't quite, well, news. Terence Chea reports that the time has come to put up a railing to stop people from jumping to their deaths. In the story, Eve Meyer, executive director of San Francisco Suicide Prevention, whines that, "The longer we delay, the more lives it's going to cost, the more money it's going to cost and the more we lose focus."

Honestly, I thought the left coast loonies all were in favor of assisted self-termination, or ethical suicide. Maybe they don't like their bridge being used as a jumping off point to the hereafter because there are no bureaucrats involved, no licensing requirements, and no paperwork involved. It would be easier to solve these problems than to build a jump fence. Set up an office where suicides could consult with a doctor or psychologist who could then prescribe a jump off the bridge. Still more bureaucrats could make suitable arrangements, like transportation to the bridge, disposition of the corpse, etc. Fees levied on the jumpers or collected from selling TV and concession rights could cover the costs.

Maybe Omaha could do something similar with their imaginary footbridge across the Missouri River. Those distraught by the ugly fact that Omaha will never annex itself into being a San Francisco or New York or even a Kansas City can leap into the mud (or onto the ice).

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