Omaha's 'Bob Kerrey' Footbridge

Opening in November

The Omaha City Council voted today to spend almost a million taxpayer dollars to survey the land on the Nebraska side of our pork-barrel pedestrian bridge for an art display and much-needed fountain. This is the bridge that our former Senator Bob Kerrey thought would be a smart way to spend 17 million federal tax dollars. At the time, folks said, "who needs a footbridge across the Missouri River?" But sharper minds prevailed. Minds that reasoned, "If we don't take the money, some other city will get it."

The Plains Feeder thought it was a bad idea at 17 million coconuts. Over the years, the price of the weird looking bridge has gone up and up while the design has gotten fruitier and cheesier. Nobody can get an honest answer as to what this useless as teats on a boar bridge has cost Nebraskans up to now. Apparently the squandering isn't over. All those other prices we were quoted didn't include anything at the end of the bridge.

The costly footbridge is slated to open this November. The weather should be just perfect then for a long walk in the wind over the icy river. And where will you be after your long, freezing hike? Iowa. Even the suicides won't want to walk that far to jump. Maybe Nebraskans who have hocked their cars in Iowa to cover their Council Bluffs casino losses will use it to walk home. Omaha, who wouldn't want to be a part of it?

Thank you, Bob Kerrey. Thank you, wise ones of the Omaha City Council. The footbridge to nowhere is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
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Just thought of another use for the new footbridge. Omaha taxpayers rendered destitute by their state and city taxes can leave it all behind and walk to Council Bluffs, where gamblers from Nebraska voluntarily pay a big chunk of the taxes.

Bob Kerrey

Bob Kerrey - Vietnam Ghost

Former Nebraska Senator and Medal of Honor recipient Bob Kerrey was the speaker at a Democrat fund raiser in Omaha Saturday night. The old baby-killing Lincoln leftist has a big nerve coming back before his cursed pork footbridge is finished. He is thinking about running for the Senate again. This makes two mixed-up, Viet-Nam tainted dunces sitting on that fence. Jon Bruning looks smarter every day.
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Nobody.likes.Bob.Kerrey. What kind of suckers does he think Nebraskans are?

Omahans must learn to love their city

Omaha: Cool or Un-Cool?

The Omaha Visitors and Convention Bureau is having a hard time keeping Omaha folks smiling. The expensive slogans, PR campaigns, annexations, footbridges, skyways and riverfront face-lifts have left Omaha denizens with a bad self image. They think their city stinks, no matter what Mayor Fahey and his cronies can dream up to fruitify and Disneyland-up the once rough cow town.

Naturally, the solution is to hire more consultants and fund more programs. It is the way of liberal politics: if the medicine isn't working, you just need to take more. The prescribed medicine being the taxpayers' money, of course.
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Video at 10:00

Omaha's footbridge to nowhere: new design approved

Bob Kerrey Footbridge Final Design

Nebraska's own Pork-Barrel Bridge to Nowhere has been subjected to the Plains Feeder's derision before. If you don't know about the Hopalong Bob Kerrey Footbridge, you may read its sordid history here. Evidently, yet another decision on the 'final design' is about to be or has been made. It is difficult to say, given the numerous 'final designs' that have been bandied about over the years. Recent footbridge flap-jaw was engendered by former Nebraska Governor and Senator Bob Kerrey. The retired war criminal says Nebraskans will, "come to love the bridge". Kerrey is believed to have produced this laughable cut of pork just to spite Nebraskans for rejecting his Marxist ideology.

Yup. They'll come to love your bridge all right, Bob. Especially in the wintertime. Nothing like an ear-freezing stroll across the icy river in the howling wind.
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Update: Even Mickey at SirPrize is weighing in on the Omaha-Iowa pork bridge.

A Footbridge Too Far

Footbridge to Nowhere

The Bridge to Nowhere lunacy has the blogosphere, the TV poonditi, and the radio talkers all a-twitter. Everyone loves the story about buying everyone at the 'other end' of the proposed bridge a Lear Jet for the same cost. It is a perfect example of timing being everything in political polemics.

They have had the pork barrel rolling in Congress since forever. This isn't even the first idiotic pork barrel bridge. In fact we have our own idiot pork barrel bridge story right here in Nebraska. Nebraska's pork-barrel bridge never raised a ruckus like the Ketchikan - Gravina bridge has. There was no Coburn Amendment , the fate of which is still undecided, despite its sensibility. Kevin Aylward's take on this at Wizbang inspired this blast from the pork-barrel past

When Nebraska's Senator Bob Kerrey decided his political career had hit a wall (read: Viet-Nam atrocity stories surfaced), he left Nebraska a chunk of pork to remember him by. It was to be a footbridge across the Missouri River. Why Kerrey thought Nebraskans would want to walk to Iowa, nobody knows. It started off getting roundly razzed. Most folks here (read: Nebraska Republicans) were sick of Bob Kerrey.

First, Reason.com. tried to point out the stupidity of it. They thought it would cost a mere $4 million, and illustrated it with this little comparison:

The next time you go to the ballpark, imagine the seats are filled with 42,321 low-income, taxpaying spectators, each with an adjusted gross income of between $3,000 and $5,000 -- students, part-timers, and the working poor. Then hold on to your hot dog and think about this: All of the federal income taxes paid by everyone in that stadium over the entire 7-month baseball season will go to build a footbridge in Omaha.

Also in April of 2001, OmahaRiverFront.com touted the bridge at Missouri River News , saying it will be, "among one of the longest pedestrian bridges in the nation". But the price mentioned was now $17 Million.

The bridge is being funded by a $17 million federal grant obtained by former U.S. Senator Bob Kerry, a $1.7 million federal planning grant, $1.5 million each from the states of Nebraska and Iowa, and $1 million from the Papio-Missouri River Natural Resources District. It is expected to be completed sometime in 2003.

Next, in 2004, it finally came time to let the bids for this fabulous footbridge to Iowa. By now it is become:

The futuristic bridge, with its two suspension towers designed to look like giant sails, was supposed to redefine Omaha's skyline and symbolize the cooperation between Omaha and Council Bluffs. It was proposed as a $22.6 million project

Only two bids were submitted. The low bid was $44,942,000. The other bid was $50,286,498 . Omaha Mayor Mike Fahey, feigning surprise, noted that, "It missed by so far it's mind-boggling" and concluded that the "city doesn't have enough money to build the project for the $45 million low bid". The Nebraska Footbridge to Nowhere story still drags on, and won't die until the speculators, developers and pols have milked it to death. Bad timing.
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Update: From Power Line: The Coburn Amendment fails 82 - 15 - the pork barrel is intact.

Update II: A hysterical Senator Stevens of Alaska threatened Omaha's Joslyn Art Museum parking lot pork to protect his bridge pork. Michael Yanney, Joslyn director, defended the museum parking pork and even asked for seconds, saying: "I think we’ve got to spend considerably more taxpayer money on cultural activities,” he said. “Kids need culture. I don’t think the private sector can possibly afford to do all the cultural activities by themselves." Read about it in the Omaha World Herald, quick, before they archive it. OWH notes that Nelson and Hagel "came down on opposite sides of the fiscal tempest". Yanney thanked Nelson for pulling our pork out of the fire.

I thought the left coast liked "Assisted Suicides"

Looking for a laugh on an otherwise slow Saturday at the Feedlot, I naturally turned to the Associated Press. These cats at the AP are always right on top of news that isn't quite, well, news. Terence Chea reports that the time has come to put up a railing to stop people from jumping to their deaths. In the story, Eve Meyer, executive director of San Francisco Suicide Prevention, whines that, "The longer we delay, the more lives it's going to cost, the more money it's going to cost and the more we lose focus."

Honestly, I thought the left coast loonies all were in favor of assisted self-termination, or ethical suicide. Maybe they don't like their bridge being used as a jumping off point to the hereafter because there are no bureaucrats involved, no licensing requirements, and no paperwork involved. It would be easier to solve these problems than to build a jump fence. Set up an office where suicides could consult with a doctor or psychologist who could then prescribe a jump off the bridge. Still more bureaucrats could make suitable arrangements, like transportation to the bridge, disposition of the corpse, etc. Fees levied on the jumpers or collected from selling TV and concession rights could cover the costs.

Maybe Omaha could do something similar with their imaginary footbridge across the Missouri River. Those distraught by the ugly fact that Omaha will never annex itself into being a San Francisco or New York or even a Kansas City can leap into the mud (or onto the ice).