Feedlot Expedient Medicine

Feedlot Expedient Cast

Last week, the old feeder dropped something heavy on his left instep. It was a chance to practice field expedient medicine, which for me is almost as good as tax avoidance. Its easy! If you think you have broken one or two of those flimsy, chicken-bone like metatarsals in your foot, just pull the affected toes into the desired position and immobilize the whole foot-ankle mechanism. I use thick layers of sturdy newspaper and cheap masking tape. Then, just sit back and relax while the bones knit.

By staying out of the Doctor's office, you can avoid the costs associated therewith, even if you are insured. Your health insurance provider will love you more for avoiding a claim. And, you won't run the risk of exposing yourself to other infectious conditions while reading the germy copy of Field and Stream in the Doc's waiting room. Not to mention that there won't be any pointless ionizing x-rays or possibly contaminated instruments involved.

The last time I did this was about 15 years ago. I 'took a nasty fall' and broke some ribs and an elbow. I splinted up the arm with the only newspaper I subscribe to, the Wall Street Journal, and taped it tight. I eventually had to go to Ehrling Bergquist hospital for some of the other injuries sustained in the original incident. When the Docs at the base got a look at my cast, they were most admiring. They insisted on replacing it, of course. Something about military hospital rules.

File this under: Money saving tips. Read more in this free US government pamphlet.
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