Nikita Khrushchev rises from tomb, asks for shovel

Former First Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union and Chairman of the Council of Ministers Nikita Khrushchev, who has been officially dead since September 11, 1971 (no coincidence) has been reported to have returned to life today. According to clandestine Russian language blogs, Nikita clawed his way out of his grave, startling some Canadian tourists.

Claire and Pierre Bonhomme of Quebec were touring famous communist grave sites at Novodevichy Cemetery when the officially denied resurrection occurred. They had no comment, except to say that they would be vacationing in Cuba next year.

The couple had been relaxing and listening to Glenn Beck on the radio stating that every choice for American voters in the 2008 presidential race represented a step toward communism when the amazingly well-preserved Communist emerged and asked for a shovel.