Cop a Laugh

A New Hat Style

In my continuing efforts to find a way to earn a living, I sometimes try my hand at fashion design and millinery. Anyone who knows me will attest that the old feeder makes a distinct fashion statement whenever he leaves his hilltop redoubt. My latest creation is modeled above by my hairdressing school dummy. ( No, I didn't go to beauty college, the head came out of a dumpster.) I call it Shades of Ataturk. Essentially, it is a traditional Fez with a light straw brim.

The new hat represents a balance between the idea that the remnants of the Ottoman Empire should turn away from their old Eastern ways, seeking assimilation into the West, and the total rejection of the occidental lifestyle currently touted by the mullahs. Kemal Ataturk's banning of the Fez in Turkey best represents the former school of thought. Al Qaeda and the Taliban sadly represent the latter. My new hat offers a middle path between the old-line fundamentalist throat slashers and the modern secularists in today's Islamic parts of the world.

My dermatologist says that the years I spent hatless in the Levant are partly to blame for my plague of skin cancers. I should think that Mohammedans would want to avoid this costly and dangerous business. But you never see them wearing sensible hats with proper brims. Until now!
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One thing leads to another: Dig this saucy haremwear, courtesy of Hodja.

Honestly, these naughty burqas would distract even the most devoout Mohammedan from his prayers. Stop leering, Abdul.