October 18, 2006

Lights for Little Kim

Huge Candlelight March in North Korea
The grateful nearly dead of the North Korean communist worker's paradise held a huge candlelight parade for Dear Little Leader Kim Jong Il's first public appearance since his first atomic bomb sales demo. The reason for all the candles: Mr. Kim has used up all of North Korea's resources to build his war machines and atom bombs; there isn't any electricity to spare lighting up parades. The satellite photo below showing Korea by night puts the lie to any claim NorKor might have to being anything but a communism-ridden third world country. I wonder if there will be a candle shortage this winter after Mr. Kim's big parade. Let them burn pine knots for light.

A Poorly Lit Country
World reaction to Kim's new nuclear capabilities has been much like the reaction of a man who has stepped on dog shit in town. Everyone is trying to scrape their shoes clean on the UN instead of looking to kill the dog. The Kim apologists say we shouldn't blame the dog, he's just doing what comes naturally. The best suggestion I have heard so far comes from Taiwan, and hints at a fate for little Kim like the comical trial and execution of Romania's Nicolae and Elena Ceausescu. Too bad the North Korean people are so enfeebled by decades of eating at the barren communist table set by Mr. Kim and his dad. I doubt they could mount a Romanian-style uprising without a good meal first.

Kim's Cognac Embargoed
On a lighter note, I saw this widely published photo of Dear Leader sipping cognac. UN fans believe that an embargo on luxury goods bound for North Korea will put the hurt on Mr. Kim, who is said to enjoy fancy imported goods. Cut off his cognac, and he will straighten up and fly right. I don't believe it.

How can Kim Jong Il enjoy the rich nose of fine cognac when he doesn't have one?

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