Good News for the Planet Earth

The only green human is a dead human

This is the best news to come out of the Ecological Disaster movement since Al Gore invented the Carbon Credit: concerned believers are having themselves sterilized to save the world. For once these science is consensus prophets of gloom and doom have got it right. By ceasing to procreate, the planet could be spared a second generation of these idiotic true believers.

The old feeder already has noted at least one instance of this burgeoning trend among the eco-vanguard. Here are a few historical examples.

Remember Heaven's Gate? Before that happy band 'moved to another plane' to catch a ride on a comet, the sex-free group's leader, Marshall Applewhite, had himself castrated. Several of his followers followed suit, giggling like enchanted fools. You won't see them any more.

An earlier American group of true believers that died out because they were doctrinally opposed to the Biblical exhortation to "be fruitful and multiply" was the Shakers. The Shakers of today are mostly old women; few join up and no new ones are born.

Even stranger examples of dead-end, despair prompted, self destructive, non-procreative movements can be found in the unsuccessful Breatharian movement. Believe it AND die. Another outfit that forbade normal sexual practices was Paul Schaefer's Colonia Dignidad in Chile. Sex, even between married members, was verboten in this ex-Nazi child molester's utopia.

No listing of self-limiting cults would be complete without mention of Jim Jones and the horrific mass suicide by the People's Temple in the jungle of Guyana. The Rev. Jones didn't forbid sex among the faithful, but he was in charge of all gonadal goings on in Jonestown. Ultimately, despair won out over Jones' goof-ball plans for the future. The legendary vat of poison Kool-Aid was mixed up, ending the commie cult for good.

It isn't just sterilization, Michelle Malkin points out that abortion and infanticide are part of the penance we must pay for our estrangement from nature. This suggests that the next logical step for the self-loathing, humans are ruining the Earth crowd is self-destruction. The Japanese are already into it, with groups formed on the internets to facilitate mass suicides.

What could we, as compassionate conservatives, do to encourage this hopeful development?