January 15, 2008

Cop a laugh

Free Cat
This picture was posted at one of the goofiest blogs ever, "I Drank What?" The humorous blog is purportedly written by a California policeman who calls himself Pecadillo (sic - with only one c). I suppose being a cop in California might drive one crazy, and this blog is good evidence of that. His feature on eating dog meat is worth the click.

There was a farm cat population explosion at my place one summer. It was back in the 1970's, and it seemed as if every female cat on the farm had produced a huge litter. There were probably 20 cats, already too many, hanging around the out-buildings when the kitten boom struck. The reproductive urge was so great that the female cats with fewer kittens were stealing them from other litters. You couldn't turn around without seeing a cat skulking from one building to another with a kitten in its mouth. Folks started calling my place the Cat Ranch.

It was clear that the Fall would bring an epidemic of feline distemper or something, so I decided to thin them out. The lady of the house at the time agreed, but her idea was to round them up, take 'em to the vet and pay for their distemper shots. I was as tight then as I am now, so that costly idea went nowhere. The .22 caliber solution made more sense to me. Besides, half-wild farm cats aren't easy to catch. To keep the peace, I had to promise to try to give them away first.

Nobody in their right mind wants to adopt a farm cat. I made some "Free Cat" signs to put up in town, but nobody bit. So I came up with the idea of offering free food and beer one Saturday. I made new signs:
Spectacular Kitten Drowning!

Come to the Cat Ranch this Saturday for beer, barbecue and cruel entertainments.

Eat, drink and watch as dozens of cute, fuzzy kittens are mercilessly drowned in the water tank at 2:00 PM. Bring the kids!

Free kittens will be given away all day. Only dead kittens will be available after the drowning.

See you on Saturday.
Well, as you might guess, this idea didn't fly either. I figured the drowning ploy would soften folks up, but it just pissed them off once they found out it wasn't a joke. The big drowning was called off. As it turned out, nearly all the cats got distemper in the Fall and we had to shoot them. Its a cruel world if you can't laugh at it.
Hat Tip: one of the Mickeys.

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