September 14, 2008

Cuzzin Grumpy's Pork Chop Revue

Sometimes you would think pigs are the scum of the earth, the ultimate insult, vile creatures that some religions have declared to be obstacles to the gates of heaven. Most Americans love to eat them and hate to smell them, as if a shower, cologne or perfume could make other animals forget that we don't smell all that great ourselves.

I was a hard headed farm kid who didn't have a clue as to the intelligence of these animals and their willingness to get along with us if we'd only treat them with a little respect, such as inviting them into the house for dinner like Les Kimes does on a regular basis. I saw Grumpy and his porcine pals last week at the Clay County Fair in Spencer, Iowa. They have an entertaining act called Cuzzin Grumpy's Pork Chop Revue which makes the rounds of county fairs entertaining farm kids of all ages. Pig acts are a family tradition for Kimes, whose father, Boyd, started the pig act, calling it Uncle Heavy's Pork Chop Revue.

My pigs probably felt threatened at my hostility towards them and were therefore extremely reluctant to do anything or go anywhere just to please me. Along with yelling at them I wasn't beyond hitting or kicking them and feeling justified because I thought they were so stupid and stubborn, not some of the most intelligent of animals as Grumpy points out. At least they had thick hides and no physical harm resulted other than the occasional sprained wrist I suffered. They're really solid. Or I'd miss a kick and fall down in piss soaked hog manure. This isn't a bad thing if you're able to observe it happen to a hard headed farm friend, or especially somebody's dad. We all need to laugh.

Knowing now that they're pretty decent critters I'd still like to see us continue eating them even though powerful forces are at work to put a stop to it. But you should know that these 4-legged cloven hoofed farm animals have a dark side. Under the right circumstances they're not above eating each other, as confirmed by Iowahawk in an excellent hog blog. So it's not like we have to feel guilty eating a slice of pepperoni pizza. Barack probably had bacon for breakfast the day he made his lipstick remark.

Enough about that. Let's watch these videos I made at the Fair of The Pork Chop Revue!

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