June 24, 2008

Omaha's 'Bob Kerrey' Footbridge

Opening in November
The Omaha City Council voted today to spend almost a million taxpayer dollars to survey the land on the Nebraska side of our pork-barrel pedestrian bridge for an art display and much-needed fountain. This is the bridge that our former Senator Bob Kerrey thought would be a smart way to spend 17 million federal tax dollars. At the time, folks said, "who needs a footbridge across the Missouri River?" But sharper minds prevailed. Minds that reasoned, "If we don't take the money, some other city will get it."

The Plains Feeder thought it was a bad idea at 17 million coconuts. Over the years, the price of the weird looking bridge has gone up and up while the design has gotten fruitier and cheesier. Nobody can get an honest answer as to what this useless as teats on a boar bridge has cost Nebraskans up to now. Apparently the squandering isn't over. All those other prices we were quoted didn't include anything at the end of the bridge.

The costly footbridge is slated to open this November. The weather should be just perfect then for a long walk in the wind over the icy river. And where will you be after your long, freezing hike? Iowa. Even the suicides won't want to walk that far to jump. Maybe Nebraskans who have hocked their cars in Iowa to cover their Council Bluffs casino losses will use it to walk home. Omaha, who wouldn't want to be a part of it?

Thank you, Bob Kerrey. Thank you, wise ones of the Omaha City Council. The footbridge to nowhere is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
Just thought of another use for the new footbridge. Omaha taxpayers rendered destitute by their state and city taxes can leave it all behind and walk to Council Bluffs, where gamblers from Nebraska voluntarily pay a big chunk of the taxes.

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