On being shot in the back

Last year I had a second festering molar pulled from the left side of my jaw. Since then I have been able to get my tongue so far into my cheek that even I can't tell if I'm being sarcastic or not. My post that concluded with the old saw, 'better to be tried by twelve than carried by six' got a genuinely analytical critique in a comment from reader Mike Hunter, and further well-deserved criticism from Ryne McClaren at his blog. Ryne has had some more thoughts on gun control while I was away. You have to read "Floridians No Longer Have To Fear Being Shot In The Back While Trying To Run From An Attacker." Just thinking about getting shot in the back gives me the willies. The only thing worse would be to get an arrow in middle of your back. Owww!

I remember some of my early 'training' to the effect that you should move in on an assailant with a gun (get closer, if you can) and consider turning and running away only if the asailant is armed with a knife or club. The idea being that you may be able to disarm or deflect the aim of a gun toting baddie, but you can't outrun bullets. I like Jeb Bush, and if it wasn't for all those other nutty people, I'd consider going back to calling myself a Floridian.

Ryne is doing a bang-up job of covering Nebraska's current political convulsions. Chuck Hagel is such a pain!

Is Chavez sucking life from the bearded one?

Sancho Chavez & his Don Quixote
The south's newest and shiniest tinhorn commie dictator Hugo Chavez has been to Havana for trade talks. Now it seems that through "non cash" trade, Venezuleans will get Free Medical Care al estilo Cubano. Cuba gets oil, Chavez gets a blessing and photo-op with his spiritual leader. Together they cooked up plans for taking over the world, as Bolsheviks are always wont to do. Calling it the "Boliviarian Alternative for the Americas, which would tie together the region's developing nations without U.S. involvement ... aimed at opposing a US-backed pact, the Free Trade Area of the Americas," these clowns are a laff a minute. (If you don't live in Cuba or Venerealzuela.)

From the April 24, 2005 Daily Dish at Cool Blue Blog:

I wonder if Venezuela is worried that it is becoming some kind of parody. Recently, the mindless ruler there who seems to have a knack for pissing people off, declared that Don Quixote is a "must read" for Venezuelans and has used taxpayer money to print and distribute one million copies of the book.

"Don't be left without your Quixote!" Chavez said earlier this week. "We are all going read Quixote to feed our spirit with this fighter who came out to get rid of injustice and fix the world."

"To some degree, we are followers of Quixote," he added.

Whatever happened to the separation of fiction and state?

His foes, many of whom call him "El Loco," or "The Madman," said it was fitting the government was distributing the book about a hallucinating knight wandering through Spain with his faithful companion Sancho Panza.

Don't you think that the roles are different? I think Chavez looks more like Sancho Panza, while castro looks like the crazy Quixote. Compare.
At least neither one of these jerks is likely to visit the USA any time soon. We know fidel is scared to come here , and according to CNN's ugly international sister Hugo Chavez promised that he would not visit the United States again until we Americans "liberate" it from opression by our own government. Only Jimmy Carter could listen to such crap without laughing.

I have noticed that fidel grows pale and wan lately, while Chavez is plumper and more sanguine than ever. I suspect that Chavez is actually drinking the old barbudo's blood, or using some of his 'zuelan jungle ju-ju to absorb fidel's energy. After all, fidel is a son of white aristocracy and Chavez seems un poco mas indio to me.

Peri-Idiotico 26 in the trough, and yes, I did distort the CNN foto.

Remote Blogging?

I'm back from my vacation. Giant thanks to Abe of Lincoln for taking care of the chores at the Feedlot while I was incommunicado. I have been a fan of his writing at Don't Let Me Stop You since I saw his Forests of The Great American Desert post. He graciously agreed to add some cheer to what was becoming a depressing rant from a feeder who needed to get away from it all for a bit. I thought about trying to blog from DadGum's house up near Okoboji, but decided against it. My vacation was enough of a busman's holiday as it was. I'll get back to work as soon as I get caught up with reading what has been going on with my blogroll sites.

Humpty Dumpty Wins Big

From the Omaha World-Herald (link only good for a few weeks) comes this:

Omaha.com: "A special mock trial in the case of Humpty Dumpty resulted in $300,000 for the damaged egg.

The mock trial, sponsored by Omaha Bar Association, was conducted Wednesday at the Hruska Federal Courthouse for 120 fourth-graders from Omaha's Dundee Elementary and Brownell-Talbot schools.

The jury of 12 students awarded the imaginary character $300,000 for a fall at a fictional Mr. King's auto dealership.

Actors from the Omaha Theater for Young People played the parts of Humpty Dumpty and the witnesses."[emphasis added]

There you have it: The stupidity of the American legal system in a nut eggshell.

Perhaps in the next act they could portray the employees of Mr. King's auto dealership losing their jobs, while Dumpty's attorney shops for a new Mercedes at another dealer.

Mark Twain on the French

This was written by Mark Twain and is Chapter 8 in the book A Tramp Abroad. Twain's sharp, ironic wit lands blow after blow on the French dueling tradition. The more you read the funnier it gets:

"The Great French Duel [I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]
Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain smart people, it is in reality one of the most dangerous institutions of our day. Since it is always fought in the open air, the combatants are nearly sure to catch cold. M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at last a confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris has expressed the opinion that if he goes on dueling for fifteen or twenty years more--unless he forms the habit of fighting in a comfortable room where damps and draughts cannot intrude--he will eventually endanger his life. This ought to moderate the talk of those people who are so stubborn in maintaining that the French duel is the most health-giving of recreations because of the open-air exercise it affords. And it ought also to moderate that foolish talk about French duelists and socialist-hated monarchs being the only people who are immoral.

But it is time to get at my subject. As soon as I heard of the late fiery outbreak between M. Gambetta and M. Fourtou in the French Assembly, I knew that trouble must follow. I knew it because a long personal friendship with M. Gambetta revealed to me the desperate and implacable nature of the man. Vast as are his physical proportions, I knew that the thirst for revenge would penetrate to the remotest frontiers of his person.

I did not wait for him to call on me, but went at once to him. As I had expected, I found the brave fellow steeped in a profound French calm. I say French calm, because French calmness and English calmness have points of difference. He was moving swiftly back and forth among the debris of his furniture, now and then staving chance fragments of it across the room with his foot; grinding a constant grist of curses through his set teeth; and halting every little while to deposit another handful of his hair on the pile which he had been building of it on the table.

He threw his arms around my neck, bent me over his stomach to his breast, kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me four or five times, and then placed me in his own arm-chair."

Read the rest.

Strongmen and Strong Language

This is one of my first posts on Don't Let Me Stop You. I always liked it, but since the blog was brand new, practically no one else saw it at the time. I love this kind of wordplay. Your mileage may vary of course.

"Strongmen and Strong Language
A post by Roger L. Simon referred to Egypt's Hosni Mubarak as a 'strongman.' Not to pick on Roger, as this term has been in wide use for years, but the 'strongman' label always makes us chuckle.

We can imagine Hosni there in the gym, dripping with sweat, working on his benchpress or clean and jerk. Or perhaps he prefers the Bowflex or one of those other, latenight abs-of-steel panaceas. What is the secret of his muscle mass development? Could he be training with Jose and Barry's pharmacists? No doubt we'll soon be seeing references to 'California Strongman, Arnold Schwartznegger,' or 'Jesse Ventura, Minneapolis Strongman,' in a publication near you.

Of course, the whole point of describing someone like Mubarak (or Khadafi, who was practically the original model for the term) in this way is to find a non-judgmental, neutral label. While accurate, 'dictator' is so Cold War Era, and it might offend Hosni or Robert Mugabe to apply it to them. Clearly, 'strongman' arose as an attempt to indicate in a 'nice' way that the body builder rules by force.

There's something to be said for neutral language, particularly in news reports that are nominally objective. One way is to simply use the official title the dictator has chosen for himself: president; chairman; king; premier; or whatever.

The problem with this is that it allows the dictator to define himself, and these kinds of people rarely choose a title that really describes them. Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, is the exception that proves the rule, obviously due to a defective Irony Detector in the Dear Leader.

Frequently, the search for a neutral descriptor ends with the term 'leader.' In our view the generic 'leader' should be strictly reserved for small-d-democrats. It is not a neutral term at all, as it connotes legitimacy. Even 'strongman' is better than 'leader' for these president-for-life types.

The word 'autocrat' is certainly accurate, and it doesn't carry quite the same baggage as 'dictator.' 'Pakistani autocrat, Pervez Musharraf,' seems fair and balanced to us.

If a strictly neutral term must be used, we suggest that 'ruler' measures up nicely. It is accurate and descriptive without being judgmental. Of course there's nothing wrong with being judmental in an opinion piece, so we can put aside politcal correctness and call a spade a spade."

Atlanta Goes Bananas

I first heard of this story on Neal Boortz's web site. Since Neal lives in Atlanta, he was on top of "Bananagate" from the getgo. An Atlanta-area woman became offended and complained to the mayor about police officer "misconduct." The offending behavior: eating a banana. When Best of the Web Today picked up the story, I was inspired:

Don't Let Me Stop You: Atlanta Goes Bananas: "When is a banana not a banana? When does it become an instrument of oppression? According to Tim Chitwood of the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer, an Atlanta-area woman, Gwen Stewart, apparently feels that banana-wielding police officers are too offensive to even talk about. Now James Taranto has officially designated the incident a kerfuffle. Allow us to be the first to dub the affair 'Bananagate.'How did it begin? Where will it end? According to Chitwood:..."

Read the rest at Don't Let Me Stop You. There are more links there to other reports on the story.

I love this story. I'll have to see if there have been any further developments...

Churchill to Be Named Ward of the Court

Here's a piece I wrote on March 13 about America's favorite Nutty Professor:

Don't Let Me Stop You: Churchill to Be Named Ward of the Court: "A solution may be at hand in the case of Ward Churchill, the controversial Ethnic Studies professor at the University of Colorado. The once-respected university has been humiliated by Churchill's 'work,' which includes comparison of 9/11 victims to Nazi war criminals and accusations of plagarism. Churchill's claims to be an American Indian have also been questioned. Some have defended Churchill based on academic freedom. Others have called for his ouster. Still others have encouraged CU to keep him on the faculty as an example of the sort of loon that today's academic environment shelters.

Firing someone with tenure is a tricky business, so naturally bribery was the initial approach. However, haggling over the price has drawn the process out, with Churchill seeking $10 million and the university offering $10.

Now a novel legal theory may provide the university with a means of escape. University spokesman, Rocky Montagne, says the university plans to ask a court to declare Churchill a 'ward of the court,' allowing the judge to take control of his affairs. Once this is completed the judge can resign from the faculty on his behalf, ending the standoff.

It's unusual for a court to declare an adult a 'ward of the court.' In this case, however, Churchill's juvenile behavior provides a sound basis for revoking his status as an adult. 'Looking at what he's said, written and done, it should be pretty easy to demonstrate that he's not a functioning adult,' according to Montagne.Looking beyond the current situation, the university wants to find a good home for Churchill, preferably in another state. Unfortunately, as a faux Indian, Churchill is persona non grata on the Indian reservations, and no Indian family will adopt him."

Dispatches from Outland

PTG asked me to fill in for him while he's on vacation. I'm planning to post some old and new things from my blog, Don't Let Me Stop You. I live in Lincoln, so I'm not as plugged into the Omaha news as Plains Feeder normally is.

Given PTG's long interest in Great Plains Bloggers, I thought I'd begin by mentioning Roy Jacobsen of Fargo, ND, who blogs at Dispatches from Outland. This week an old post of his, wherein he coined the term "food dodecahedron" was linked from Best of the Web. He was immediately buried under a "Tarantolanche." Now that the hordes have receded, he's feeling lonely up there, so stop in and say, "Hi."

Here's the original Best of the Web Today link from the Wall Street Journal's free OpinionJournal site.

Gone Fishing

I'm going on vacation. I opened the OWH on Thursday to see on the front page that Mayor Fahey and his gang are talking about yupifying a 'run down' part of town just north of the two tall buildings Omaha folks call Downtown. What this really amounts to is another step to PLAN Omaha's niggertown into oblivion. Fahey's Omaha seems dead set against the existence of a black ethnic community in it's traditional North Omaha location.

If only Omaha black folks would act whiter, Mayor Fahey might let them have a cute little display, like the ethnic Spanish-speakers are getting 24th Street gringo-ed up into. I are disgusted. So I'm going fishing. To Lake Okoboji. The crappies should be in the canals, biting on maggots and the tiny leeches that you find attached to rocks at the lake shore. These little pan fish taste great and don't live long enough to accumulate much poison.

One of those days

Some days reading the news and the blogs makes me feel awful.

No more vacations in Spain

España, a place I used to call home before the communists turned it into another Portugal, has decided that they should have a World Court of their own. I'm sure Adolfo Scilingo is not a really nice cat, with his propensity for tossing people out of aircraft over the ocean and all, but now he's looking at 640 years in a Spanish slammer.

MercoPress says Adolfo's "trial was Spain’s first under a law which says crimes against humanity can be tried in this country — even if they are alleged to have been committed elsewhere." Ai, que tonto.

I don't suppose the Spaniards have anything on me, but you can never be sure. Perhaps they know about me and Augusto Pinochet or me and Idi Amin, but I doubt it. If I go back to see my old stomping grounds again, I could get arrested for the 'crime against humanity' of supporting the Iraq war or for doing my best to help America win the cold war.

I wonder if Spanish jails have gotten more comfy since Franco's been dead?

Can't afford to be healthy

This morning I note that the CDC has "found that people who are modestly overweight have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight." The CDC is a post office like government agency whose only benefit to me over the last 30 years has been to provide me with a free subscription to their MMWR (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report). This publication, which used to come by mail, but now is delivered to my e-mail box, is very useful for tracking epidemics that might be headed your way. Doctors report what they are treating, and the MMWR compiles the data so you can see trends. The MMWR is a staple for paranoids everywhere.

But for advice on healthy living, I have found the CDC to be worse than useless. Paul at Wizbang explains how this happens in a post I missed last night. (This time of year, feeders and farmers hit the sack early.) The CDC often doesn't know what they are talking about, yet they just keep talking. Their conclusions about the effects of being overweight on morbidity are as useless as their advice on whether or not you should drink coffee. Advice that changes with the wind isn't much use when planning something requiring 'long-term' action, like regulating how much you weigh.

Jeremy has a more important aspect of the situation at the MUSC Tiger, namely the personal finance aspect. What it boils down to is that I can't afford to be healthy. If it wasn't for Tri-Care for life, I'd never be able to afford to even talk to a Doctor. Same goes for meds: I drive all the way to Offutt to get my nerve pills. But I always believed that a healthy lifestyle was within my means. (It took me most of a lifetime and cost me half my liver to decide what healthy was.) Living healthy was cheap. Putting the demon rum behind me and quitting cigarettes all helped out my bottom line. And as long as being healthy meant not being really fat, I figured I was in the right. Getting fat costs money. I have no money, so I am safe, right?

Now I'll have to put on some weight if I want to live long. Like the monkey said when he peed on the cash register, "This is going to run into the money." Thanks, CDC.

Stick a fork in the Network News?

Old school toupeed TV anchor Sam Donaldson, late of ABC News, says the Network News is done and , "The monster anchors are through." Quoted by Bill McConnell at Broadcasting & Cable, reporting on a National Association of Broadcasters' convention, Sam also said, "God forbid, if someone shot the President, which network would you turn to? It will be cable, the Internet--something other than General Hospital being interrupted."

The panelists agreed that the Blog Phenomena is a good thing for "the news", because it keeps reporters honest, but didn't mention any connection between this honesty thing and the demise of the Net News. Must be a coincidence.

Eat Dogma, Moral Relativists!

Wizbang is keeping track of how long it will take the moral relativist crowd to mount a group whine over the election of a conservative Pope. I heard the ABC news announcers suggesting on TV that Ratzinger "could still change" before the ashes of the ballots were cool. The godless Marxists wish the new Pope will turn out like a number of our Republican appointed Supreme Court Justices did, and surprise everyone by embracing ordination of homo married women priests who are communists. We might hope that the Catechism proves as stalwart as the US Constitution.

Updated: St Wendeler of ARC has it all. These cats are from the "Show Me" state, therefore Plains Bloggers.
The Group Groan gets going: Wizbang follows up on the 'missed opportunities' prediction.

Shoot first, answer questions later

Reader Mike Hunter, in a thoughtful comment to a recent Plains Feeder post about Nebraska's long road to adopting a Carry Concealed Weapon (CCW) permit, points out nearly all of what is wrong with the Beef State's current concealed weapon law.

The problem with an "affirmative defense" is that it is something YOU have to prove in court AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN ARRESTED. Concealed carry laws make you innocent until proven guilty, the opposite way that an affirmative defense works.

As a retired police officer I can tell you that without a concealed carry law, when you are caught with a concealed weapon, the officers may not ask you any questions. Rather they may cuff and stuff you and take your weapon, search you and your effects, jail you if you cannot post bail (and sometimes it is a felony so that no bail is available until you go before the judge - in the morning).

You may end up taking a deal of some sort to be sure there is no conviction. Alternative plea bargains may include forfeiture of the firearm, "just" a fine, etc. Meanwhile your local paper has you labeled as a criminal (arrested with an "illegal" firearm), you have legal fees, and you may end up doing community service.

Remember, just because you have an affirative defense does not mean that the judge (or jury) will buy it. Have you noticed that some judges do not think you should be carrying a firearm concealed no matter who you are? Think about it. - Mike Hunter

Mr. Hunter is correct in his analysis of Nebraska's affirmative defense. (With the exception of the 'not innocent until proven guilty' part, which is patently wrong. With the possible exception of the IRS Code, we are ALWAYS inoocent until proven guilty in the US.) Our hoary carry law is redolent of the code of the Old West, while permits are so 20th century.

But you are right, Mike, the woes associated with the affirmative defense are myriad, but I expect similar troubles with the actual operation of any CCW permit system. Like everything else in government, it will be administered by people with biases, prejudices and opinions.

The point I wanted to make is simple: no matter what the law du jour says, I won't be a victim and neither should you. Deadly exigencies wherein your life and/or the lives of your friends are at risk is no place for legal niceties. I won't let possible embarassment, expense, or even the threat of a conviction on my record deter me from exercising my right to self-defense. In short, it is always better to be tried by twelve than carried by six.

Time Mag, not Ann Coulter, distorted

DRUDGE REPORT FLASH : Ann Coulter upset that Time Magazine will have a fish-eye foto of her on the cover. As if the focal length of the offending lens weren't short enough, the pic appears to have been shot from knee-level. Ann, of course, sees a plot to uglify conservatives, complaining, "Why can't they just photograph conservatives straight?"

I suggest it is actually Time Magazine that is distorted, not Ann Coulter. To prove my point, I have run the picture from Drudge's site through my viewpoint adjuster and show the result above.

**
Updated: Thanks to Michelle Malkin, for the link We love ya here at the Feedlot!
Updated: Michelle catches USA Today giving Condi the Creep Eyes.

If you don't like what you see, then just see things the way you want. Nobody will notice.

Bob Kerrey : The Ugly Nebraskan "Reporting for Duty"

News is full of it, Bob Kerrey Eyes New York's City Hall: "'I am angry about the way New York City is being treated by Washington D.C.,' Kerrey told The New York Times in Sunday editions. 'Who is fighting these guys?'" I don't know who is fighting the US government these days, Nebraska Bob, but here is something fun for everyone to try.

Paste this into Google News Search: [vietnam "war crimes" "Bob Kerrey"], less the brackets, and you get this. Then paste the same thing into the regular Google Web Search, and you get this.

When I did this this morning, I got absolutely no hits on the News Search and over 5,000 hits on the regular Web search. What does this illustrate? My guess would be that the MSM and the Democrat party love their Viet-Nam war criminals. John Kerry, move over. Make way for a REAL baby killer.

Rooskie Pride

We know the Russians invented baseball and a myriad of other so-called Western innovations (mostly invented by that famous Russian, Reguspatoff) and that they are the best at everything they attempt, thanks to the Marxist-Leninist thinking that guides them to greatness.

Now, Pravda is bragging up the hacking talents of their state sponsored hard currency thieves. In an article entitled Russian hackers recognized best in the world tells how they earn 'much money': "It has become a popular tradition for Russian hackers to form transnational groups with their foreign colleagues for stealing information, blackmailing and extortion."

Evil Empires are made up of evil people.

Chores

Little or no blogging going on here at the Feedlot. It seems that the soil temperature has given orders for me to get to some actual work. Not that I mind spraying poison and greasing machinery, but it leaves little time for this foolishness. It is probably just as well, since all my thinking this week has been colored by yet another attack of the PANG syndrome: People Are No Good. I'll get over it.

Concealed weapons carry permits - who needs 'em?

As a Life Member of the NRA*, I naturally think the Second Amendment to our Constitution is a good idea. At least, on paper. (or parchment) But like all the other 'rights' spelled out in the Bill of Rights, the right to go armed is one of those inalienable rights mentioned in the Declaration of Independence. We don't need no stinking amendment to 'give' us these kinds of rights. These rights are ours, ab initio, to keep if we dare to defend them and ours to lose if we don't.

The UNIcameral has LB454 , on the agenda today. The Concealed Handgun Permit Act is a hot topic for us NRA types, but not all of us agree on the way it seems to give us permits instead of guaranteeing further a right we already have, a' la 2d Amend. You say we don't have a right to carry a concealed weapon in Nebraska? You think concealed carry is always a crime here? I say you are wrong. We Nebraskans don't need no stinking permit to provide for our own defense. Going armed for defense is not a privilege, like driving a car. Current Nebraska law requires no permit to carry a concealed weapon prudently. Our law provides an affirmative defense to accusations of criminally carrying a concealed weapon:

It shall be an affirmative defense that the defendant was engaged in any lawful business, calling, or employment at the time he or she was carrying any weapon or weapons and the circumstances in which such person was placed at the time were such as to justify a prudent person in carrying the weapon or weapons for the defense of his or her person, property, or family. [Neb. Rev. Stat. 28-1202 (2)]

The law requires only that the Nebraskan who would go armed for defense be law abiding and prudent in every aspect of the decision to do so. I do not believe the laws of Nebraska are much served by adding a permit requirement. Having a permit removes certain elements from the decision-making calculus that a person must apply in making his or her decision to go armed in any given circumstance. For example, "Hell, I have a permit, I'll take my gat to the dance in case that asshole, Bob, shows up." See what I mean? Prudence goes out the window.

If you think about the situation from the point of view of the stereotypical NRA member, ever certain the government is plotting to disarm him so he will have to take orders from Kofi Annan, isn't this permit business just back door gun registration? They want your name on a list. Thats the only reason it looks like the CCW bill might pass this year! They want you to line up downtown and show them your guns.

Here is an interesting personal interest story about State Sen. Jeanne Combs, sponsor of the CCW permit bill, that ran in the Omaha World Herald. (tnx to Nebraska StatePaper) The OWH has, in recent memory, been opposed to anything that would encourage Nebraskans to carry guns except for hunting. I always figured this was a misplaced 'big city' attitude on the part of the little blue island that is Omaha. Now the OWH seems to be softening. Could it be because, as mayor Mike Fahey says, Omaha is so much safer now that he is running the joint that we can be trusted with guns?

Of course, I don't care how this CCW thing turns out. I don't have any guns, or any desire to get a permit to carry one around. I don't even carry a knife. You read the Plains Feeder legal disclaimer/warranty, didn't you? It is right here: Ohne Gewähr.

Added stuff 7:30 PM - between lightning strokes:
Gunscribe of From the Heartland, has consistently supported the idea that concealed carry is already legal in Nebraska. And SayUncle, heartened by LB 454's prospects in Nebraska, asks, "Can Kansas be far behind?"

*An uncle of mine tells the story of how he and his brothers had to read the newspaper to their grandma. She was Norwegian and could speak but not read English. When she saw a huge headline announcing the National Recovery Act of 1933 she recognized the acronym NRA and asked my uncles what it meant. One of them told her it stood for 'Norwegians Ruined America'. Her reply was to say that it couldn't be so because the Norwegians were a clean, hard-working people.

Rodents having fun revisited

Most Sundays I go to town and pick up a week's worth of free, once-read Omaha World Herald newspapers. I read them at my leisure, usually in reverse chronological order. This evening I read the Friday and Saturday's editions and came across a story about Omaha people having mixed reactions to seeing some local rodents having fun. Joe Dejka wrote Rats join the downtown lunchtime crowd at Gene Leahy Mall in the Friday Metro section. (Free OWH subscription required, after 21 days story becomes pay-per-view.)

Desirae Paul, 22, stared off the footbridge spanning the Gene Leahy Mall on Thursday and into the red twigs of a dogwood bush on the island below her."Oh, my goodness," Paul said. "That really grosses me out." Scampering about in the afternoon sun were three brown rats.

Paul, who works at Pacific Life Insurance downtown, said the rats tarnish Omaha's image. The city should "take care of them" if the park is going to be a healthy place for families, she said.

Clueless downtown denizens Elaine and Mark Thurman were less certain about anything.

"They really look like a rat to me, because they have that long, hairless tail," she said.
Mark Thurman was not convinced. Maybe the animals were another, less offensive rodent, perhaps a gopher, he said.
"I enjoy seeing them," he said. "I'd leave them alone. What would you do, Elaine?"

The animals are rats for certain. Healthy, fat Norway rats, according to experts, "out enjoying the weather like anybody else". City Parks Director Larry Foster said,"There are always going to be rodents in a city."

On Saturday, the Douglas County Health Department weighed in. Putting the lie to Foster's defeatist attitude, Douglas County supervisor of sanitation Reid Steinkraus said: Poison will get rid of Leahy Mall rats , in a World Herald story. He did concede that the rats were a problem, but "not as bad as three years ago". Those were Hal Daub rats. Badass republican sewer rats, not like these preening, plump, yuppie amusing Fahey rats.

Guess I spoke too soon. Not everyone likes to see rodents having fun.
---
Update: Sorry the links to the Omaha World Herald are dead. They think old OWH stories are so valuable they want you to pay to read them. You aren't missing anything.

Slow Day Filler

Time to get out Twiggy the water skiing squirrel. Everyone likes to see rodents having fun.

Warren Buffet Jammed Up?

Warren Buffet, Omaha's legendary rich cat and head of Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. is in the news more and more these days. And it isn't all good. It wasn't bad enough that Warren had to own up to less than spectacular results for his investors recently. Now the news coming out of the AIG scandal is taking a tone Buffet probably doesn't like.

Jon Markman's MSN Money Journal entry for Monday, April 4 had this improbabable looking suggestion:

"I have half a mind, by the way, to put my entire portfolio short Berkshire Hathaway (BRK.B), as it seems to me that Warren Buffet & Co. have gotten away too easily so far with its role in the AIG Inc. (AIG) scandal -- and that his luck may run out soon. But I will not take that position yet."

Even Buffet's liberal pals are distancing themselves, e.g this Slate article, Is Buffett in Trouble?
also from this Monday, where they felt a need to disclose:

'The folksy billionaire and investor par excellence is the self-appointed conscience of the American capitalist democrat. The spirit of the transactions, and Buffett's public reaction to them, stand in stark contrast to what has come to be known as the Warren Buffett way. (Disclosure: Buffett is a director of the Washington Post Company, which owns Slate.)'

Today I got around to reading my Friday Wall Street Journal and saw Warren's mug shot on page one. How Buffett Gave A Tip That Led To Greenberg's Fall by Susan Pulliam, quoted in Sucheta Dalal's column in the Sunday Indian Express (that's right, tomorrow Sunday)

Investment Guru Warren Buffet has been the biggest shocker. Wall Street Journal reports that Buffet, “in a bid to win leniency for Berkshire from prosecutors” directed his lawyers to hand over documents describing a suspect transaction between a Berkshire unit and AIG to the regulators. The scrutiny that followed led to the exit of Hank Greenberg, Chairman of AIG, one of the world’s biggest insurance companies. Some say that Buffet has erred badly in supporting his trusted lieutenant Ajit Jain who had written some controversial insurance policies that were substantively a loan used by borrowers to misstate their financial condition.

Now Buffet is getting awfully close to looking maybe guilty of something - doctoring the books. According to the New York Times quoted here: AIG papers doctored, "General Re, a unit of Berkshire Hathaway, altered records of a transaction with AIG" in the St. Petersburg Times.

I have to figure much of the problem stems from Buffet's effort to move away from his prosaic Nebraska Furniture Mart, Dairy Queen and Coca-Cola image. For some reason, this included going into the reinsurance business. That elite pool has only a deep end, and that's where Warren got in. Its a tough world for the 'folksy' sort of cat Warren plays. As the AIG scandal unfolds, I think it will be like peeling the bad onion; the more is uncovered, the worse it will stink.

Whatever Warren Buffet myth you choose to believe: brilliant capitalist success who enigmatically has socialist sympathies or, vice-versa, brilliant socialist thinker who, enigmatically, gets rich investing in the great success of capitalism, you gotta admire anyone with that much money at least a little.

Updated:

• Sheng's not happy
• BYLINE : Sam Ernesto hints at more to come
• CSM's take is here, tnx to MailBox-Media

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Warren Buffet never troubled me much at all until he stuck his nose into The Terminator's efforts to wring the last drops of wealth out of Californians. He had the nerve to say that we didn't pay enough taxes here in Nebraska. Tell you what, Warren, you pay more taxes forme, OK? I really hope you don't end up in jail. Even more, I hope you didn't get suckered. For the sake of Omaha's rapidly tarnishing reputation.

Royal Tampon Dream Comes True

"Charles and Camilla Get Married"
I'm so happy for the homely twit and his bondo-ed bride. I recall Bonnie Prince Charlie's first wedding. I was in the middle east at the time, and I knew some brits that had a pal of theirs in the RAF surreptitiously fly a VHS tape of the proceedings via military jet right to their waiting hands. They were the envy of all the other brit expats in town, hosting a big party with the still warm video as the featured attraction.

I never could understand how anyone could believe anyone else's claims to royalty. Especially this line of creepy twits; do the newlyweds make you think Royal? Maybe their blood is blue or their shit doesn't stink, but I doubt it. It is good to see the notion of royal blood going down the tubes. Almost as good as seeing royal blood actually spilled on the ground.

Village Pointe: get you a big plate o' sushi

Last weekend, some friends talked me into taking a ride into West Omaha to see what passes for progress there. I figure this was what started my decline into a week's worth of enforced bed rest. Village Pointe, a Bastion of Pure Materialist Indulgence sprung full-blown from a cornfield. The pricey emptiness, the faux gloss of durability glued onto steel buildings, and the name-brand clad masses of hayseeds squinting their eyes and imagining that they were in someplace actually un-hick, all conspired to make me ill.

O, to be a peasant and proud again.

Out of the Depths

This old feeder has spent the last week in the ugly world of illness. I am recovering. I will blog again.