May 31, 2006

You may think it funny but it's snot.

Ojo Rojo
The grass and mulberry pollen are making life miserable for the old feeder today. My eyes itch so I'd like to scratch them with a wire brush. Doc says antihistamines are Verboten; my only relief is from watery over-the-counter eye drops.

Are folks more sensitive these days? Are there that many more allergens? Is it genetically modified crops? Nasty dust from China? I don't know, but it sure seems to me that there are more folks suffering from various types of allergic reactions now than in the past. I have a police scanner on all the time. It is surprising how many of the emergency calls are for 'difficulty breathing'. How many of these ambulance rides are allergy related?

Maybe it is just me. Grandma had asthma. She spent her summers huffing on one of those old fashioned medication atomizers with a rubber bulb pump. When she wasn't smoking Camel straights down to where she had to use her yellow fingernails like a roach clip.

Whatever. I'm sneezing so much I'm fouling my keyboard.

May 29, 2006

Nebraska kids taught French Work Ethic

French Workers
School Superintendent Patrick Cullen wants the kids in Brady, Nebraska to be ready for globalization. To get the little scholars in the right frame of mind, they will henceforth use a 'Four Day School Week'. This will help remedy the embarrassment of high productivity that makes us look haughty and arrogant to the rest of the lazy, underachieving world.

By incorporating the French work ethic in our schools, within a generation or two, Americans won't be looking down their noses at anyone. Now if we could just get American workers to drink a quart liter or two of wine with their lunch every day...
Even the Canucks understand: There is no need to work any harder than just enough to keep your economy from total collapse. Any more work is "too much". The rest of the world is fed up with Americans making them look like goldbrickers.
Addendum: Mr. Beamish at the Crank Files notes that our public schools are improving in one area: dhimmitude!

May 27, 2006

Memorial Day Weekend

Arlington National Cemetery
“Greater love hath no man than this,
that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. Fly your flag, have fun, be safe, and take a moment to remember those who laid down their lives for you.

May 26, 2006

Nebraska Judge: Child Molester too short for prison

Update: Sentence Upheld - 7/18/07

Short Pederast Walks
I get all my Rachel Ray and child abuse news at Merri Musings. When I heard the outrageous story about Nebraska Judge Kristine Cecava giving probation instead of prison time to a convicted child molester because he was too short for prison at 5' 1", I knew where to go for the story. To get the proper sense of the case that has made Nebraska look stupid all over the world. You need to read Merri's coverage here ad her update here.

I'm confused. I met Judge Cecava many years ago when she was the Keith County Prosecutor in Ogallala. She seemed normal enough then. I know she sat on the panel that sentenced murderer Jorge Galindo to the electric chair. I wonder how tall you have to be to ride the lightning?

Charlie Manson is only 5' 2". Maybe its time to let him go; I'll bet life has been a living hell for the poor little cat.
Addendum: Here is another short Nebraska criminal. Not only did Edgar Vidal stab a 15 year old to death, but he might also be an illegal alien. I can't really tell, because reporter Lauren Maloney at KHAS TV in Hastings, Nebraska uses her best politically correct obfuscation, describing him as "not a U.S. citizen" who will "likely be deported by the INS".

May 25, 2006

Irresponsible or Dishonest Reporting - Racist Nebraska

New Classes at Segregated OPS Schools
You know how news stories get distorted. You have heard about 'bias' in the news.

Sometimes it is accidental, a result of the 'noise' inherent in any system of communication. Like the old parlor game folks played before radio or TV, in which a story is passed in whispers around a circle of players. By the time the story gets back to the first person, it is usually changed in humorous ways. Other times, the distortion is deliberate, agenda driven, and intended to deceive.

The following story, (reprinted in full from the Grenada City, Mississippi Sentinel-Star) purports to inform their readers of the Nebraska Unicameral's recent effort to force agreement in the mess resulting from the Omaha Public School takeover bid. Just a bit of noise? Or is this out and out propaganda?
For years we have been arguing that the 1964-65 Civil Rights Act should be amended to cover all 50 states, not just seven states and a few selected counties elsewhere.

In addition to the selectivity of the law making it unconstitutional on its face, the law is not fair.

Now we have undisputable proof that the law needs to be amended to cover all 50 states: earlier this year the Nebraska Legislature, one of the states immune from the civil rights law, passed its own law.

Nebraska has passed a law dividing the state's schools into three separate systems; one school system for whites, one school system for blacks, and one school system for Hispanics.

[My Emphasis]
I remember listening to my mother talk to a black lady in Montgomery Alabama when we lived there in the very early '50's. The South was overtly and egregiously segregated then, and Mom didn't like it one bit. She asked the lady why she didn't pack up and move 'up North'. She answered that she had heard that blacks "escaping" from the South would be greeted by lynch mobs or thrown in jail.

Now I can see why some of the Katrina refugees were leery of accepting the welcome extended by cities like Omaha. They read lies like this in their hometown papers. Doesn't this state have a PR person?
Addendum: Here is the "Johnson" civil Rights Act of 1964. Can you find where this law exempts Nebraska or any other state? it seems to be a big lie that is simply taken as fact by the folks in Grenada City.
Update: Here is another marginally less distorted version of the OPS situation from MSNBC. I smell the NAACP's crack disinformation team at work. Those cats have no scruples.

Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson's Spaghetti Sauce

Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson
Tom Curry, a left-leaning political commentator at MSNBC, tries to make sense out of Nebraska Republicans' stubborn failure to 'vote the party ticket' and instead make up their own minds when voting. The MSM is still reeling (as if anything that happens in Nebraska makes folks in the MSM actually 'reel') over Nebraska Republicans' rejection of Coach Osborne.

The man who will try to unseat Senator Nelson, Pete Ricketts, has money and Republican credentials. But why take a chance that Ricketts will turn out to be another RINO like Chuck Hagel? Senator Hagel makes a better Democrat than a Republican. Ben Nelson's ability to distance himself from the moonbat fringe that seems to dominate the Democrat Party these days, and his steadfast adherence to basic Nebraska values is what keeps him in Washington. Tom Curry writes:
“I’ve made sure the other side doesn’t define me; I define myself,” Nelson said. “I don’t want to ban the Bible; I don’t want to burn the flag; I don’t want to take away the guns; I’m not promoting same-sex marriage; I don’t want to re-write the Pledge of Allegiance; I am not supportive of abortion.”

And these aren’t mere words. Nelson has voted:

  • For Bush’s Supreme Court nominees Samuel Alito and John Roberts;
  • Against every Democratic filibuster of Bush judicial nominees in 2002-2003, except one;
  • For Bush-supported tax cuts in 2001 and 2003;
  • Against a resolution declaring that the Roe v. Wade abortion legalization ruling “secures an important constitutional right” and “should not be overturned;”
  • Against Democrats’ efforts to prevent a Senate floor vote on a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

Two weeks ago, Nelson was one of only three Democrats in the Senate to vote for continuing lower tax rates on capital gains and dividends.

Meanwhile, Chuck Hagel seems to make the news every day with yet another effort to make himself appealing to liberals. I don't trust Nebraska Republicans because of Chuck Hagel. Nebraskans worry that Mr. Ricketts will turn progress-o-lib on us. Then both our Senators would be liberal wussies.

I like Ben Nelson. I think Nebraskans should ignore Ricketts and his money just as they ignored Coach Osborne's slick Washington campaign. If Ricketts thinks the election will be a gimme, just because he is a Republican, he might wind up as surprised as the Coach .
Ben has his own spaghetti sauce, published at Congress Cooks!

May 24, 2006

Nebraska Crop Report

Young Corn - Grant Wood
Nebraska's corn and bean planting is nearly completed. The weather has been warm and dry, facilitating this spring's field work. You can read the seedy details here at the Sioux City Journal. The link on their page to the Nebraska Agricultural Statistics Service wouldn't work for me, but if you can find out anything from their convoluted web site, you are a better internet navigator than I.

For you armchair farmers in the city, you can watch the area corn crop grow at Iowa Farmer Today's Corn Cam. The Corn Cam action is many times more exciting than watching paint dry. Watching the corn that surrounds the Feedlot is much better. For those of you who don't know, the corn in these parts grows almost fast enough to see it move. Sometimes corn will put on as much as 4-5 inches per day. Soybeans grow boringly slow by comparison.

It is still too early to make any sort of sound crop yield predictions for this year, but that doesn't stop commodities traders from trying. Omaha's own DTN has a niche market helping producers and traders see into the future. More progressive, Mother Earth News type farmers and traders might want to try a different form of divination: a corn reading.

May 23, 2006


Unlocking the potential for growth at WD-40
Today's Wall Street Journal had a nice piece by Gwendolyn Bounds (reprinted here) on WD-40 CEO Garry Ridge's interesting approach to marketing since taking the job in 1997. It is a tough job to bring significant growth to a company that Mr. Ridge called a "Johnny one-note" outfit. Nobody wanted to see a New and Improved WD-40. Customers liked just as it was; why risk a New Coke problem.

Once every man in America that was ever going to use WD-40 was already doing so, Ridge went for selling the ladies, introducing a WD-40 'pen' applicator. Then he brought out a can featuring a permanently mounted red straw that couldn't get lost. A bigger sprayer was added when farmers, ranchers and others who used WD-40 to prevent rust on large equipment asked for it. Now these users keep two cans of WD-40 in the shop! Not to mention that the stores must stock yet another repackaging of the same product

Mr. Ridge also likes to ballyhoo the myriad of uses people find for WD-40, originally invented to displace water from surfaces. They claim to have 2,000 uses listed on their web site, but you have to join the WD-40 Fan Club before these mysteries are revealed. At least one initiate must have squealed, you can see all 2,000 of them on the 'net. There is no shortage of web sites offering Wacky Uses for WD-40.

The wackiest use I have personally witnessed was a 40 lb. lake trout taken on a gigantic Five of Diamonds that had been deliberately sprayed with WD-40. There had been a great deal of scepticism, even subtle jeering in the boat when RD sprayed his lure. But after seeing the results, every one of us sceptics sprayed our lures thereafter. Does it cover human scent, as some say? Why would fish be put off by human scent, anyhow? Why wouldn't WD-40 put them off the bite, same as they say gasoline does? I believe it to be a fish attractant, rather than a scent mask. Otherwise, skunk piss would work, as it does on traps. The controversy rages.

May 22, 2006

Nebraska Abortion Stats

Only 3,163 would-be Nebraskans were aborted in 2005. Enough to make a 9/11-sized catastrophe. Still, according to Jonna Huseman at the Columbus Telegram, this represents an 11.5% decrease from 2004. Good news? You be the judge.

May 21, 2006

Plains Feeder helps denounce Che Chic

For the Che idolizers on your shit list
The old feeder's design, based on this blog post (with the addition of an eye catching blood stain) has been made into the t-shirts pictured above. Val Prieto of the very excellent Babalu Blog saw the design and asked if he could use it in his anti-castro activities. I despise castro. Anything I can do to help... Well, Val is now selling these shirts to help fund the Cuba Nostalgia Convention. The convention, which Michelle Malkin describes as "commemorating the best of the island nation before fidel castro destroyed it", looks like an enjoyable event, to judge from the blog coverage.

As Val puts it, "Help a brother out, buy a damn tshirt. Or, put your money where my mouth is." We at the Plains Feeder already 'gave at the office'.
Addendum: I don't think there are very many che guevara tee shirt wearing idiots here in Nebraska. I can't recall having seen one recently. Maybe they wear them on campus at the various universities and colleges. In my college days, it wasn't unusual to see students with Che books and pictures. But, in those bad old days, some students also carried NVA flags and burned the Armory. It 's good to live in a Red State.
Update: Val reports that the image of che - even dead che - is still too disturbing for some. The commie bum earned every bit of this hate. On a more positive note, Felix I. Rodriguez, the CIA cat that hunted down che, appeared at the Cuba Nostalgia Convention. Babalu bloggers Henry "Conductor" Gomez and George Moneo describe meeting the man. Bay of Pigs, anyone?

May 20, 2006

Intolerant Libs

Because I sympathize with many conservatives, some folks imagine that the old feeder is a narrow-minded, prejudiced bigot. I am not. I don't believe that conservative views on politics and free market economics makes a cat a bigot.

My belief that most people are either inherently beastly, or are at least ambivalent to right and wrong, does not make me hate humanity. I are one. But I'm not afraid to make jokes about the foibles and failings of my fellows. Nor am I particularly thin-skinned about the mention of my own.

Still, it is hard to feel good about sharing what is left of our clean air and water with cats that write this kind of crap about Michelle Malkin. Now it seems that it isn't just e-mail from drooling moonbat jack-offs , but so-called mainstream blogs making Asian whore jokes about her. If you can call Wonkette anything but tripe.

I thought only conservative, right-wing white Christian Republicans could be bigots. I guess I should have noticed all the liberals, Democrats and their apologists making racist Condoleeza Rice jokes, cartoons and stories that peaked at the time she was named Secretary of State.

Brokeback Royal Canadian Mounties

We always get our man in the end
Mickey just e-mailed the Feedlot with this story about these two Canuckguys who happen to be Mounties, getting married, and suggesting that one of them might be the Canadian pervert that has been commenting here recently. I don't know, but the story is good for a Saturday morning laugh.

Not that there is anything wrong with Mounties mounting each other, of course.

Why Fidel Castro might live 140 years

The devil is waiting...
Val Prieto and the freedom loving gang at Babalu Blog are busy with Cuban Independence Day stuff and working the Babalu CubaNostalgia pavilion, so the old feeder has taken up the news story about Fidel's personal doctor, a longevity quack and President of the 120 Years Club, Eugenio Selman-Housein's having pronounced the nasty dictator fit to live to the record-breaking age of 140. How can this be so, you might ask?

Years ago, I recall reading a National Geographic story about longevity. The writers had gone all over the world to interview old-timers to see if there was any common thread to explain their vital persistence. There wasn't one, but the stories were fascinating. One of them stuck in my mind, of an over-100 lady from South America who said she knew why she had lived so long: it was because she had been so wicked that God was taking extra time to punish her in this life before sending her to hell.

If that vieja was right, Fidel Castro may live forever. Say it ain't so!

May 18, 2006

Nebraska Senator Chuck Hagel shames us again

Updated: Hagel strikes twice in one week! see below

Nebraska Senator Chuck Hagel - illegal day legislator
The U.S. Senate has voted to kill the 'Ensign amendment' which would have made the years illegal immigrants worked illegally not count toward qualifying for Social Security benefits. I wasn't even aware that it did. The old feeder is past retirement age and still hasn't accumulated enough years of gainful employment to qualify for Social Security retirement benefits. Piss me off! Why, I worked legally (more or less) for 40 years (off and on). No SS for me. Nation of Laws, my ass.

If you want to know more, you can get the skinny at Michelle Malkin and Power Line, another primo blog. The worst part of it, for us Nebraskans, is that Hot Air reports that our Republican Senator Carlos al-Hagel, was one of 11 Republican Senators voting to defeat this sensible measure. The same "It's Viet-Nam! It's Viet Nam!" Chuck Hagel that has been courting the left of center vote in a bid for the Presidency in '08. It will never happen, Chuck.
Hagel Update: Today Senator Chuck Hagel voted to kill yet another amendment that would have helped discourage illegal immigration: the Kyl amendment to the immigration bill . It would have prevented temporary guest worker visas from becoming permanent. I guess temporary doesn't really mean temporary. Anyhow, Senator Hagel voted with the rest of the amnesty and 'open borders' crowd. Thanks be to AllahPundit 's post at Hot Air.

National Military Appreciation Month

Delbert King
Halfway through the month, the old feeder is reminded by the Council Bluffs Nonpareil that May is National Military Appreciation Month. I note that, aside from Pottawattamie County, Iowa Supervisor Delbert King's enthusiastic flag waving pictured above, there has been precious little flogging of this Special Month in the news media. Compare and contrast this with the way the MSM overwhelms us with coverage of PC events, like Black History Month.

May 17, 2006

Hot-Shot Blogging

Michelle Malkin at the 7-11/9-11 Fake ID Marketplace
Michelle Malkin, the old feeder's favorite reality blogger, has produced this excellent and timely Vent video. She connects the dots between illegal immigrants at the 7-11 and the 9/11 terrorist attack on the Pentagon. The video gave me the willies; to think that the same fake ID marketplace used by 9/11 hijackers is still in operation. Anyone with concerns about terrorism and/or illegal immigration should watch this Vent.
See the Pentagon attack video here at Judicial Watch. Everyone else has.

May 16, 2006

Abe's Desert Life: Jackalopes

Nine Point Jackalope
I'm linking to this desert life post from Abe, creator of Don't Let Me Stop You, not just because it is Genuine Great Plains Lore, but to remind folks that the Jackalope rut is on again this week. Visitors and newcomers to the Great American Desert are warned to watch for these big rodents heedlessly crossing our roads in their frenetic mating rituals. You don't want a flat tire to ruin your trip to see Chimney Rock before it erodes away.

May 15, 2006

Secret Ops in the News

Pinch his head off!
Once upon a time the US was quite capable, almost adept, at running covert paramilitary operations overseas. Today the civilian alphabet agencies ostensibly charged with this work are weak and ineffective. I blame creeping, Post-Office style bureaucracy, and public oversight that is way too public. If the US didn't need secret operational capabilities to fight terrorism, the situation would laughable.

Lack of operational success in recent decades has favored the narco-tyrants and commies in Central and South America. Good ops might have kept a degree of stability in Africa and prevented great rafts of suffering there. What if a covert ops scheme had been in place and allowed to kill Osama the minute the Russians pulled out of Afghanistan?

Instead, this IHT story, Mystery Americans on the trail of bin Laden?, is the sort of thing you see in the papers about our civilian covert ops. It is a puff piece about the stir caused by bungling "covert" operatives setting up house to catch Osama (or Usama, as the FBI insists) bin Laden in the Pakistani town of Chitral, better known for its trekking outfitters. All the fuss and rumor has the relatively respectable town all a-twitter.

The folks of Chitral aren't burning flags or threatening beheadings. That would be bad for tourism, whereas the intrigue caused by the "Secret Agents" in town has been good for business. At least according to Maqsood ul-Haq, a local merchant: "We want more tourists here. The taxi drivers make money, even the cold drinks guys make more money."

Blood sugar stickup?

A Pennsylvania dude robbed a Bank Of America and headed for the Sunrise Diner where he ordered a stack of hot cakes. He was busted before he got to stick a fork in them. Were the stupid pancakes the reason he robbed the bank?

May 14, 2006

Egypt Pyramids Offend Mohammed, Must Go!

Massive Infidel Religious Icons
Jawa Report tipped the old feeder to this BBC article exploring the conflict between the strict tenets of Mohammedanism and common sense. In particular, the precarious position of the important and priceless antiquities of Egypt. Should the land of the Pharaohs fall to the Jihadists, these great treasures would be jeopardized. No shit! The Islamofascist crowd is absolutely crazy and acts without regard to long-established human cultural norms for decency, respect and tolerance. Not only do they direct their zeal toward throat slitting and lady beating, they corrupt their very surroundings with the evil they believe. To wit: the ancient, priceless relics destroyed by the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Taliban Cleansing of a Bamiyan Buddha
These fanatics are wreaking havoc all over the world in the name of Allah. Either Allah is a monstrous demon with a grudge against the earth and everything on it, or these Mohammedan cats have been totally deluded by a few madmen. I'm beginning to think it is a great deal of both. No god worth bending your knee towards would call for such idiotic destruction of human heritage. Such a god's priests would necessarily be madmen.

It would be as if the US fundamentalist Christians were to demand the destruction of all the dinosaur bones now in museums because they offend creationism. I don't think Americans would fall for such nonsense, even if all the preachers in America gave a sermon to that effect this morning. We are not, for the most part, fanatics. And the God we choose to worship isn't an evil demon.

If a "War on Islam" is what the Mohammedans want, then so be it. It is getting so you can't tell a Moslem from a terrorist, anyhow.

May 12, 2006

No More Knuckledragger

Tomorrow I will have lived up to the Canadian Compromise of last week. I don't expect anyone to understand, but tomorrow I shall return to posting as Douglas McArthur PTG. I will remain the same inconsistent, opinionated old grouch.

Omaha's footbridge to nowhere: new design approved

Bob Kerrey Footbridge Final Design
Nebraska's own Pork-Barrel Bridge to Nowhere has been subjected to the Plains Feeder's derision before. If you don't know about the Hopalong Bob Kerrey Footbridge, you may read its sordid history here. Evidently, yet another decision on the 'final design' is about to be or has been made. It is difficult to say, given the numerous 'final designs' that have been bandied about over the years. Recent footbridge flap-jaw was engendered by former Nebraska Governor and Senator Bob Kerrey. The retired war criminal says Nebraskans will, "come to love the bridge". Kerrey is believed to have produced this laughable cut of pork just to spite Nebraskans for rejecting his Marxist ideology.

Yup. They'll come to love your bridge all right, Bob. Especially in the wintertime. Nothing like an ear-freezing stroll across the icy river in the howling wind.
Update: Even Mickey at SirPrize is weighing in on the Omaha-Iowa pork bridge.

May 11, 2006

Ain't Democracy Grand?

"She came with papers!"
Only under democracy could someone like Hillary Rodham Clinton possibly become the most powerful person on earth. Australian Rupert Murduch has made his fortune by betting that the masses are asses. His most recent wager, buying Hillary, could pay off. Because Americans will let damn near anyone vote.

May 10, 2006

Cop a Laugh

A New Hat Style
In my continuing efforts to find a way to earn a living, I sometimes try my hand at fashion design and millinery. Anyone who knows me will attest that the old feeder makes a distinct fashion statement whenever he leaves his hilltop redoubt. My latest creation is modeled above by my hairdressing school dummy. ( No, I didn't go to beauty college, the head came out of a dumpster.) I call it Shades of Ataturk. Essentially, it is a traditional Fez with a light straw brim.

The new hat represents a balance between the idea that the remnants of the Ottoman Empire should turn away from their old Eastern ways, seeking assimilation into the West, and the total rejection of the occidental lifestyle currently touted by the mullahs. Kemal Ataturk's banning of the Fez in Turkey best represents the former school of thought. Al Qaeda and the Taliban sadly represent the latter. My new hat offers a middle path between the old-line fundamentalist throat slashers and the modern secularists in today's Islamic parts of the world.

My dermatologist says that the years I spent hatless in the Levant are partly to blame for my plague of skin cancers. I should think that Mohammedans would want to avoid this costly and dangerous business. But you never see them wearing sensible hats with proper brims. Until now!
One thing leads to another: Dig this saucy haremwear, courtesy of Hodja.

Honestly, these naughty burqas would distract even the most devoout Mohammedan from his prayers. Stop leering, Abdul.

May 09, 2006

Nebraska Elections: the Republican Primary Race

Dave Heineman milking a cow
Click for Details

The polls are open today here in Nebraska. Having no real interest in the outcome, I don't wish to influence the vote today. Heaven forbid that a non-believer should engage in democracy. Nevertheless, the voter choice of greatest statewide interest is the Republican primary. Folks have been dishonestly changing their party affiliation to be able to vote Republican. The old feeder has already said his piece on the candidates in this post. I haven't changed my mind.

I still think Dave Heineman is doing a good job. He had the cojones to take a clear stand on the Omaha Public School takeover attempt that was fostered by the wicked Fahey-Mackiel land grab gang. None of the other candidates had anything to say about this pressing issue but double-talk and platitudes. None of the other candidates have any specific plans for anything. Governor Heineman is involved.

Tom Osborne is too progressive for my taste. I remember when he sold out American gasoline consumers by voting with the RINOs to prevent drilling for oil in the ANWR. At the time, his name appeared on the rolls of the George Soros backed "Main Street Republicans". In my estimation (and Michelle Malkin's), these cats are up to no good , so I called Congressman Osborne's office in Washington. Osborne's aide had no idea what I was talking about until I told him the URL for the MSR congressional members page and he saw Coach Osborne's name there for himself. In fairness, I should mention that Osborne seems to have gotten his name off the MSR web site in time for the election. I wonder how it got there.

The 'other Republican' in today's race, Dave Nabity has gone nowhere, and stands zero chance of winning. The Democrat party has only one gubernatorial candidate, Dave Hahn. Dave is cool and shows he has guts to buck the odds. But Dave Hahn suffers from liberalism, a political impediment in Nebraska.
Folks want to honor good old Coach Osborne. I have nothing against him; I think he has served his constituents admirably in Congress. In spite of the MSR thing and his wrongheaded vote on ANWR. He is a genuine Nebraska living treasure to NU football fans, and that includes most all Nebraskans. Let me suggest an homage more fitting to the man than the taxing, thankless job of Governor:
Coach Laureate

We already have a Nebraska State Poet Laureate, William Kloefkorn. We could give Tom a nice office , from which he could promote his wholesome values and display his clean-cut role model. I like it. Maybe a good Coach is just what Nebraska needs in these trying times.
Incidentally, another Nebraskan, Ted Kooser, just happens to be the current US Poet Laureate.
More election blogging:
  • ARTFS's Angela is going to vote for the Coach. She liked his platitudes solid thinking on the OPS issue. Angela has kids and strong, respectable opinions about their schooling.
  • Frankly Speaking has some insight into the 'too slick for Nebraska' pollsters Osborne hired. Their shady telemarketing tactics didn't go overwell, and annoyed some folks.
  • The Lincolnite reminds voters of other issues to be decided today. Like a pay raise for our worthless legislators.
  • New Nebraska Network offers a tediously thorough waltz around the internal 'reality checksum error' in the Nebraska Democrat party. They are under the impression that Nebraskans give a hoot what Barack Obama thinks or says. Our favorite Democrat, Hosh is embarassed, as previously noted.
  • Recent posts like this one by Tom York at the Omaha Oracle deal with local Omaha ballot items, like Mike Fahey's 100 million dollar bond issue.
  • You can follow the polls at our most unbiased, public-minded blog, Nebraska Citizen.
  • And, mirabile dictu, Ryne McClaren, the Panhandle Pundit, makes a comeback to share his well-regarded opinions on the primaries. Ryne even makes some bold predictions about Pete Ricketts.
More: Max Power at The North Central States Observer thinks Ryne might be delusional.
Results: Omaha Channel 7, KETV. Get your sour grapes at the Omaha World Herald. (If they will deign to let you read their precious web site.) The best analysis of the Osborne-Heineman contest is by Don Walton at the Lincoln Journal Star.

May 07, 2006

Ho Humm

Hummer H1 Alpha diesel, now there's a ride not meant for the faint of heart or wallet. Think you've got what it takes to ride those wheels, knowing that you're scaring or pissing off everyone who's looking for a scapegoat for the dicey future that awaits us at the gas pumps?

I hate to admit it but I don't drive my jive, so to speak. I've got a Jap 4 cyl, but I'm not bragging about it because it's basically a pissant on wheels, altho a nice reliable little pissant. And I'm not driving it because I'm worried about the pumps running dry, which could always happen. I'm just driving it, that's all.

Gasoline, gasoline, most precious stuff I've ever seen. Who's going to get it and how willing are they to do whatever it takes to have it? I couldn't tell you but I'm wondering if the day will come when we'll see a new symbol on our highways that will make the old ones seem rather benign. Anybody afraid of a pink pickup truck? How about a cool looking dune buggy?

May 06, 2006

Knuckledragging for Peace

Knuckledragger - blogging for World Peace
A Plains Feeder comment writer succeeded in getting old PT's goat. The aggravating cat goes by Canuckguy, and purports to be posting from Canada. At any event, he called me a "Knuckledragger" so many times I finally get sore. Since I'm a decent and self-disciplined fellow, I got over being annoyed and decided to use a more psychological approach. I offered to change my Plains Feeder moniker from PTG to Knuckledragger for a week if the Canuckguy would send along one good Canuck joke.
An American, a Scot and a Canuck were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."

He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
I'll have to admit as that was a pretty good joke. Therefore, in the spirit of international good will I shall keep my word and become Knuckledragger here at the Feedlot for a week.

No more buffet for you!

A Des Moines woman, her boyfriend and two kids, got kicked out of the Dragon House buffet for throwing away too much food. Thinking she was treated shabbily she then went crying to the media. I see it as a convenient metaphor for a lot of things, for example parents who want to give their kids everything. Doesn't matter whether it's egg rolls they throw away or new schools their communities can't afford.

Some curious commenters at Althouse Googled up some info that suggests the couple may be doctor$. "And you know kids," said the mom. "They won't always eat everything and they want something else." I wonder how that would go down in China where they aren't famous for throwing away food (and money).

May 05, 2006

Celebrate Cinco de Mayo

Eat Snake!
So-called Mexican-Americans should celebrate El Cinco de Mayo, or Mexican Independence Day, in Mexico this year. They can honor Zaragoza's big 1862 victory over the Frenchies in Mexico City, right where the momentous battle was fought. Just don't forget to take your immigration papers with you so you can get back into the United States afterward!
More: Misha at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler has a nice 5th of May story.

May 04, 2006

Picasso is gone, but Suckerism lives on.

Dora Maar con Gato
Dora Maar with Cat, a painting by Pablo Picasso, has recently been sold for $95 million dollars. This by no means a record price for a painting, but the old feeder thinks it is an awful lot of money for a truly ugly picture that wouldn't fit in behind anyone's sofa. Dora Maar, besides being a bitch and Picasso's main wartime squeeze, was a suckerist photographer. Her photos stink on ice, yet still sell well. Picasso churned out numerous nightmarish paintings and other depictions of her and I wouldn't give you 2 cents for any or all of them.

I'm sure Pablo P is still laughing in the after-life. Suckerism is still big money after all these years.

May 03, 2006

Tough Day

Caution: Don't look!
So much work, so little succor. At least I'm not Japanese or a subscriber to Show Me Your Wound dot com's mailing list.

May 02, 2006

Another reason to look before you sit

You might think everyone that uses a public toilet would at least look at the seat before they sit their bare ass down on it. Evidently, an exceptional Wal-Mart shopper sat on some glue in the men's toilet and was stuck there. An employee heard his cries for help. How long he sat there, I don't know. I saw the story on Drudge.

It could either be a prank of the same genre as the tack left on a theater seat cushion, or the ass-gluing was self-inflicted. In the latter case, the unidentified man in the story is crazy.

Either way, the idiot will probably wind up suing Wal-Mart.

Re: Mexican May Day

¡No lo creo!
Free advice to Mexican nationals in the United States illegally:
  1. Ditch the mob scenes. Marches, protests and demonstrations don't move folks like me, and they shouldn't move a representative democracy either. This isn't the third world. Stop trying to make America like Mexico. The differences are what brought you here in the first place.
  2. Start acting like Americans and treat America (and it's laws) as if you would like to be a part of our wonderful nation. As Jeff at Alphecca says, you could start by obeying our immigration laws.
  3. Choose your political partners more carefully. Even CNN's Lou Dobbs thinks your "movement' has been co-opted by communists and other radical anti-American outfits. If you appear willing to solidaritize with any group that has an axe to grind, a hatred to spew or a crackpot version of Marxism to spread, then, to paraphrase the Godfather, their enemies will become your enemies.
Whatever sympathy ordinary folks here in the middle of red-state America might once have had for your desire to immigrate is drying up fast. Wise up.
For more coverage and pictures of the Mexi-Marchers and their fellow travellers, see Michelle Malkin's blog. She's got it linked.

Illegal Mexicans on the march have Omaha's own Angela righteously riled up and speaking freely here, here, here, here, here, and here. Hear, hear, Angela!

Vinnie, who'd rather die than lose, says the Mayday march was a big flop, but notes that you wouldn't find that out from the MSM. Merri Musings has 'full' coverage of the Giant Demonstration here in Omaha, Nebraska. Are we really becoming "North Mexico" as one of the Red Sky brothers suggests?
Update: Harry Reid, and other nutless wonders in the US Senate are ready to cave in to the vulgar mob.